Thursday, June 2, 2011

List of Things Women Should NEVER Apologize For

As I'm fast approaching thirty, I've been doing some reflecting on the person I've grown into, and the things I want to take with me into the next thirty years. One thing I wish I would have taken to heart as a younger woman is, unless you have really hurt someone, you don't have to apologize for anything you do.  Not everyone is going to be happy with the decisions you make, and not everyone is going to agree with you.  So who cares?  I'm still working on the not caring part, but I do find that as I get older, I require the approval of others less and less - and I like that.  In the spirit of wisdom gained and wisdom shared, here is my list of things a girl should never apologize for:

1. Winning - This includes sports, promotions, and bets, to name a few.  Ladies, if you earned it, you shouldn't be apologetic for your victory.  Take it gracefully and own it.  Do you think a new CEO's first objective is to apologize to everyone else who didn't get the job?

2. Turning Someone Down for a Date - Just because he/she asked, doesn't mean you are expected to say yes.  When you turn a person down, he/she doesn't want your sympathy.  Just say no (kindly) and move on.  You don't owe an explanation on why that person isn't worthy of your company and you certainly don't have to apologize.

3. Having a Difference of Opinion - Not agreeing with a friend or colleague is nothing to be sorry about.  Offer your view (gently, if needed) and let it stand.  Stammering and back-tracking only chips away at how someone perceives the validity of your statement.  If you believe in what you said, stand your ground.

4. Things You Like - Short of having a preference for something truly terrible like child pornography,  there's no reason to say you're sorry about liking something off-beat, strange, or even "too pedestrian."  Example: I am a fan of Mariah Carey and I don't care what people think of me for loving the shit out of her voice.  That woman has a powerhouse set of pipes and you all know it, whether you like her or not.

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