My Birth Story

Contractions started at 9:30 on a Thursday night.

Andrew and I went to bed and tried to get some sleep, but despite how tired I was, excitement that this could be it kept me awake. By 11:30 the contractions were to the point where we needed to start timing them, and after an hour of tracking, we decided to call the hospital and check in.

The doctor I spoke to asked some questions about what I was experiencing and told us to come on down. We got up, snuggled the dog, made a smoothie, and hit the road. I could tell Andrew was excited because he was driving fast, despite it being very early stages of labor. When I arrived I was already 6-7 cm dilated so they hooked me up to a machine to check on the baby; his heart rate was just slightly below baseline but consistent so they got me a room and hooked me up to monitors to make sure he was ok.  The baby's vitals came back up to a normal baseline - still on the low side, but in a healthy range.

Going into the hospital, I thought I could tough it out without pain meds because I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and all the descriptions of labor made it sound like it would feel like awful menstrual cramps. Well, they got it partially right. For all you wondering what contractions really feel like, imagine the worst menstrual cramps you have ever had - the kind that make you nauseated with pain.  Then multiply it by ten.  Now add in stabby gas pain.  Voila: contractions!

After a few hours with no change in dilation, they broke my water manually to help labor along. Whoa what a lot of water! I decided to get the narcotic to help with the pain of the contractions. I still felt the pain, but also a little bit like a 16 year old girl who had a couple of wine coolers in her. What a relief!

Once my water broke, contractions where much stronger than they had been before and I thought about getting the epidural so I asked them if that was an option. The nurse said yes, just as soon as they get my baby's heart rate back up, because it had started to dip again. Then it went way down. The nurse and doctor asked me to try different positions to see if that would help raise the baby's vitals, but no matter what position I was in the heart rate wasn't coming back up. When it got down to about half the rate of a normal baby, things got really serious.

The doctor told me I would be having a c-section because the baby had to come out immediately, I was only 8 cm dilated and I needed to be at 10 to start pushing. I was stunned. I looked over and Andrew was already being helped into scrubs.  There I was on my hands and knees on the bed, naked butt in the hair, and at least five medical professionals surrounding me, telling me to hold onto the sides of the bed.  They literally ran me down the hall. I remember thinking as I was being raced to surgery that I was not scared, and I thought about how worried Andrew must be.

When we arrived in surgery, I was introduced to the anesthesiologists and then told I had to be put under because there was no time to wait for a local anesthetic to kick in.  This was entirely fine by me.  In fact, I was relieved that I didn't have to be awake while operated on.  It was so bright in the room and I closed my eyes to try to relax. They asked me to count to ten, and I felt them prepping my belly. I smelled the anesthetic gas and remember thinking I had better keep my eyes open as long as I can so they don't cut into me while I am still awake. When I woke up I was back in the delivery room and Andrew was standing next to me holding Elliot.

We welcomed Elliot James into the world at 8:41am on April 18, 2014.  He weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and measured 21" long.  Perfectly healthy in every way.

Nursery Design Part II

I am starting to lay out the art pieces above the changing area.  My mom gave me some beautiful water colors she'd painted and I received a wonderful Where The Wild Things Are painting from a friend.  I was thinking of incorporating the maternity series my friend Krista of Love Song Photo has been doing with me.  I'm waiting for one more bump photo and perhaps one with the baby in place of the bump.  There is sort of a balance problem, so my other thought to balance the vignette is to add a small shelf with the little guy's initials.  Sorry guys - you only get to see his last initial for now.

Any other fabulous ideas?  I am open to feedback!

Baby On Board!

In the last year since my previous post, quite a bit has changed.  We're expecting a little one, arriving in just about a month from now.  I will start using this blog a lot more as a forum to share pictures with my  friends and family in an effort to keep my Facebook page from becoming all about my baby.

As we're putting together the nursery, I have been developing a 3D model so I can look at different options in the space.  I've decided to share a couple of the renderings here with you.

The alphabet painting in the first photo was a gift from my mom, which she painted herself and surprised me at my baby shower this past weekend.  How amazing!!
I am toying with the idea of a wall decal of a nautical compass.  Maybe, maybe not.  The next item we need is a low bookshelf  to store all the baby's toys and books.  Stay tuned for more images as I put together the art wall above the changing table!

Here's a close-up of the painting:

Remembering Jennifer

Last night I tossed and turned. I was gripped by anxiety; it twisted and churned my stomach and pinched throat as I lay wide awake. It is the first anniversary of my cousin Jennifer's death. I knew that today was going to be hard for me, because on the day that would have been her 31st birthday, I grieved the entire day.  While I have gotten to the point now where I can talk about her without tears, these milestones seem to transport me back to the rawest moments of my sadness.

As I lay in bed last night, watching as the minutes approached the time that last year she was determined unable to be revived, the tears rolled down my cheeks.  I remembered the morning my mother called to break the sad news.

Sunday mornings I always wake up early, and that particular morning I was hard at work prepping my batch of chili for my office's annual cook-off competition the next day.  I hadn't heard my phone ring, and when I got a cryptic voice mail from my mom asking me to call her right away, I knew from the sound of her voice that something was terribly wrong.  A wave of panic came over me, hoping that my family members (none of whom are frail, feeble, sick, or dying) would be excluded from whatever tragic news my mom couldn't bring herself to leave in a voice mail.  When she answered the phone, my heart was pounding and I had no time for proper greetings. "What's happened?" I gasped into the phone.  She said she had some terrible news... and the time it took for her to compose the words felt like time had stopped and I was waiting in a vacuum.  It was probably only a couple of seconds, but it felt. like. an. eternity.

When my mom finally choked out, "Jennifer died," it was like a punch to the gut. All of the breath went out of me, and I could barely squeak out, "how?"  The moments following were a blur.  My mother tearfully explained what she knew, and the email she'd received from her brother who had gotten a call around midnight when she passed.  My mom promised to call when she found out more, we said our I-love-yous, and then hung up.

I felt my legs double under me and I crumpled to the floor, leaning against the fridge in the kitchen of my apartment and sobbing my eyes out.  I don't know how long I sat there, but I finally got back to my feet and continued to cook.  My husband came into the kitchen a few minutes later to find me crying over a pan of onions and browned beef. He held me for a while, and then I half-heartedly finished my project and crawled into bed where I remained for several hours.

I thought about all of the times I should have called her for coffee and put it off.  I wished I'd tried harder to be there for her.  Jennifer and I were only six months apart in age, and though we had grown apart in our adulthood, we had been inseparable throughout childhood and our teenage years.  Then at eighteen I graduated high school went away to college in California, and she told me how hard it was to see me moving on with my life while she felt stuck.  She got into worse and worse trouble and started to shelter me from the unsavory parts of her life and the unfortunate experiences she had suffered.  We drifted.  She stopped giving me updates.  We saw each other at family gatherings, but it wasn't the same.  I kept meaning to call her for dinner, but I never did.

When Jennifer overdosed in her apartment last year, it was a shock.  She had worked hard to turn the direction of her life around and had achieved her associates degree earlier that year.  She was goal-oriented and had built a community of friends who loved and supported her.  The hazy details that surround that night are, to me, pointless to rehash.  It does not change the fact that she is gone.  It would not make me feel better to know the minute-to-minute truth of what went down.  And knowing anything more would not change my memory of the wonderful person she was.

I remember hunting for Easter eggs together when we were still in diapers, and when we went and saw The Little Mermaid when it first came out in the theater.  I remember the time made our own En Vogue lip-sync music videos with my uncle Jim's video camera, and the summer we rode our bikes over the entirety of Guemes Island while singing the The Fugees cover of Killing Me Softly at the top of our lungs over and over and over again.  I remember the sleep-overs, high school dances, and talking on the phone about boys.  And when it got tough for her, I was impressed by her extreme resilience against what she faced.  Though she had every right to be bitter about many of the hardships in her life, she wasn't; she was a joy to be around; she radiated; she lived on love.  Nothing tarnished her ability to love others, and that is the memory of her that I will always hold in my heart.

Impending New Family Member

image via Lockwood Vizslas

Since moving into our house, Andrew and I have kept busy but we have felt there is something missing. So we did some research, got in touch with a breeder, and are looking forward to welcoming one of these little wigglers into our home!  We drive out this Friday to Northeastern WA, and Saturday at 9am she becomes ours!  We have a name picked out, but waiting until we meet her to make sure it fits.  We are so excited!!

Oh, hi there.

We bought our first house!!

New Toys: Part 2

Remember way back in April when my mom's friends hosted a shower for me and I showed you some of the wonderful gifts they gave me?  Well, I held back on showing you my favorite gift, because it deserves a post of its own.  It's one of the greatest gifts I've ever received, actually.  It even rivals the three-story fully furnished wood dollhouse my father built for me when I was five, custom made to fit my Barbies.  Yes, this gift is that wonderful.

Ready?

I have this thing for vintage days of the week embroidered dish towels.

My best friend Abby told her mom about this, who, it just so happens, is an expert at embroidery.

So as my wedding gift she made me these towels, which went along with my nautical themed wedding.

The pattern is from the 30s or 40s.

She kept going and made extras... nautical-themed, of course.

This one she designed off of the sailboat on our wedding invitation:

It features my (new) last initial and our wedding date, Aug 13.

And now, the piece de resistance!

Here's a closer look:

The nautical flags spell Andrew <3 Monica.  Awww.

Unbelievable, right??  No one in the history of weddings has ever received a more thoughtful, personal, and beautiful gift than this.  I'm a lucky girl.  Thanks, Diane!  I will cherish them all my life.

Are You Lookin' at ME???

Recently I've almost been mowed over in a crosswalk TWICE, both times in broad daylight.  I'm super careful, but commuting as a pedestrian during rush hour traffic has its own set of hazards; mainly that people are looking for a break in traffic rather than a person in their immediate path.  I'm as diligent as a person can be about staying out of the way of cars, but crossing streets can't be avoided and at 7:30am in Seattle, they're never empty.

Check out my new line of defense!

It's super light so I can wear it in the summer, or over layers in the winter.  The color in this image is only half as obnoxious as it is in real life.  I love it.  I'm going to wear it when I run outside, no matter what time of day or night.  Traffic safety is no joke, guys!

Honeymoon Greatest Hits!

We're back!  We had a great trip through Rome and the Eastern Mediterranean.  Here are a few, but not all, of our adventures:

Borghese Gardens, Rome

Trevi Fountain, Rome

Messina, Sicily

Messina, Sicily

Temple of Athena, Acropolis in Athens

Library at Ephesus, Turkey

Oculus of the Pantheon, Rome

Colosseum, Rome

Inside the Colosseum, Rome

On the steps of the Capital Building, Rome

The Forum, Rome

Well, hey there!

So big news!  I got married!
Well, first I turned 30, then I got promoted at work, and then I got married!  Life is amazing.

Footwear Flop

image source

You know what "hot" trend I'm totally over even before it hits the mainstream?  This flat platform bs.  It's chunky and unflattering to everyone.  Just stop already.  That is all.

A Living Room to Build a Dream On

sources: sofa and chair, lamps, coffee table, white zigzag side table, pillows, rug, window panels, art, bowl

Lately I've had the urge to nest, so just for fun I've been doing a design concept board for a possible version of my future living room.  I'm finally figuring out how to communicate to Mr Husband Elect what my vision of a space might be - get the whole thing visually pulled together before pointing out individual elements.  It's the most frustrating thing in the world to try and get him to agree to items for our home one by one because he can't envision them in a complete package.  See my solution above.  What do you think?  In the end, I couldn't decide on a table lamp, so I just chose my top five and threw them all in there.  What's your favorite?

Weekend Wine Tasting

We're hammering out all the details for various wedding-related events these days, and last night we did one of the more fun ones: wine tasting!  The rehearsal dinner is on a boat, and they allow the client to supply their own beverages, so we spent the evening narrowing down white and red wine selections (beer is a whole other beast we weren't ready to tack just yet).

The idea was to keep it inexpensive, so none of the bottles exceeded $9.  You'd be surprised at how many good options you can get in this range.

It started out innocently enough...

Nine chardonnays later....

I found one that tasted like oysters - not good... unless you're eating oysters.  which we were not.

Several judges with varying palates offered their two cents, and there were a lot of serious contenders for the number one spot.

In the end, the clear winner was Fitzer 2010 chardonnay - a clean, crisp, and aromatic white wine.

The Cabernet was a no-contest situation; nothing stood up to Red Diamond.  Also a no-contest situation: Andrew drove us home that night.

List of Things Women Should NEVER Apologize For

As I'm fast approaching thirty, I've been doing some reflecting on the person I've grown into, and the things I want to take with me into the next thirty years. One thing I wish I would have taken to heart as a younger woman is, unless you have really hurt someone, you don't have to apologize for anything you do.  Not everyone is going to be happy with the decisions you make, and not everyone is going to agree with you.  So who cares?  I'm still working on the not caring part, but I do find that as I get older, I require the approval of others less and less - and I like that.  In the spirit of wisdom gained and wisdom shared, here is my list of things a girl should never apologize for:

1. Winning - This includes sports, promotions, and bets, to name a few.  Ladies, if you earned it, you shouldn't be apologetic for your victory.  Take it gracefully and own it.  Do you think a new CEO's first objective is to apologize to everyone else who didn't get the job?

2. Turning Someone Down for a Date - Just because he/she asked, doesn't mean you are expected to say yes.  When you turn a person down, he/she doesn't want your sympathy.  Just say no (kindly) and move on.  You don't owe an explanation on why that person isn't worthy of your company and you certainly don't have to apologize.

3. Having a Difference of Opinion - Not agreeing with a friend or colleague is nothing to be sorry about.  Offer your view (gently, if needed) and let it stand.  Stammering and back-tracking only chips away at how someone perceives the validity of your statement.  If you believe in what you said, stand your ground.

4. Things You Like - Short of having a preference for something truly terrible like child pornography,  there's no reason to say you're sorry about liking something off-beat, strange, or even "too pedestrian."  Example: I am a fan of Mariah Carey and I don't care what people think of me for loving the shit out of her voice.  That woman has a powerhouse set of pipes and you all know it, whether you like her or not.

Mozzarella-rama!

Last week I made mozzarella, and have been meaning to retype my printout to tell you just what I did, but that is extremely tedious, so I went out and found you some links to great guides.


THIS RECIPE is pretty spot on to what I did.  I don't have a microwave, so I did everything by hand, and melted the curds to knead into cheese by lowering them in heated whey.  I feel like the microwave might be more effective.

THESE TIPS are extremely useful and are worth reading before you start.

If you go for it (and you try the microwave method) let me know how it goes!

What I'm Wearing - Welcome Sun!

sources:  shorts, shirt, shades, pendant, shoes, belt

Remember when I bought new shoes?  I finally get to wear them!  The forecast is sunny and dry today, so I'm celebrating!
My office dress code is casual, and my only restriction is no jeans, so here I come with shorts!  ...and a button-up to keep it classy.  The shorts I'm wearing are actually a butter yellow twill, but there is nary a picture on the internet that is appropriate for this post, so I had to settle for tan, which is in the spirit but not quite as flamingly preppy as I am.

Let's hope this warm spell lasts; Lord knows I need it!

Everything From Scratch

Guess what I did last night!

****

Give up?

I made fresh mozzarella!! 

It took only two hours.  I have recently been on a mission to make as many food staples as possible from scratch.  I like to control the ingredients and cut down on preservatives in my food (not only because I am an admitted control freak, but also because I want to live healthier), so the effort and time investment is worth it to me.  Monday night two of my very good friends took me to a cheese making workshop where we learned the basics of ricotta, mascarpone, chevre, and mozzarella.  I think this will prove to be one of the more valuable life skills I have acquired, ranking up there with perfecting chicken. I wanted to put my new knowledge to the test right away, so I decided to start with one of the cheeses I didn't have a chance to get my hands on the night before.

It just so happens one of Andrew's favorite things to eat is caprese salad, so mozzarella was really a no-brainer decision. When the mozzarella was ready, I sliced it, piled it with halved cherry tomatoes (so they don't squirt or jump away from your fork), and some basil leaves, which I like to chiffonade so they're easier to eat and don't overpower the other flavors in one bite the way a whole leaf would.  I drizzled a little olio ai funghi over the whole thing, gave it a sprinkle of sea salt, and voila! Dinner.

What I'm Wearing - Anchors Aweigh!

sources: shirt, pants, shoes, pendant, earrings

It's been a while since I've done one of these.  In truth, my wardrobe hasn't been updated in a looooong time and so most of my outfits you've already seen.  I did, however, recently get a new shirt that I love.  Here's how I wore it today.

Lemon and Shallot Braised Lamb Shanks

This lamb died for a good cause.  I couldn't have been more pleased with the way the dinner turned out.

I took four lamb shanks, put a coarse salt crust on them, and let them sit for a bit at room temperature to lose the chill from the fridge.

In a dutch oven on the stovetop, I seared them two at a time in bacon grease and then placed the seared meat in a separate dish to rest.

I melted 4 tablespoons of butter in the dutch oven and then threw two thinly sliced shallots and a couple of sliced garlic cloves into the dutch oven and browned them.

I added a cup and a half of chicken stock to the shallots and laid a lemon that I'd sliced crosswise into 1/4-inch slices overtop and then set the shanks and any juices in the pan back into the dutch oven.

I sliced a second lemon the same way and laid it overtop of the shanks, ground some pepper overtop, and put the lid on.  It cooked for about an hour on the stovetop, and then I moved it into the oven and baked it at 375 for thirty minutes, then reduced the heat to 300 and let it braise for another hour.

I served it with this potato dish and a glass of red wine.

It was a perfect mix of simple flavors.